My past has paved my present, as it does for any individual. Through the nights of intoxication and promiscuous behavior, I have found far greater strength in my soul. Love has stung me on multiple occasions, & deception has wrapped me in its arms like a friend. But would I go back and change a thing? No. Because the past has given me reasons to keep my chin up and raise my head. Through the empty nights of sadness, the fighting nights of madness, there’s a sense of fulfillment in my gladness. Farewell my fellow enemies, farewell my old, lost friends. The future has its arms wide open, & my smile will come again. Though everything seems so hopeless, & serenity seems hard to regain, the simple truth is that there is no worry, for I have found power through my pain. So, farewell to those I trusted, farewell to those I once loved. My heart remains full and my mind has found clarity, since I am a beautiful human being who will only continue to rise above.
Can you see yourself with me for good? Through the ugly and the beautiful? Can you look past my unpredictable moods? In my moments of sensitivity whenever I get emotional? I can’t explain to you why God made me this way, so delicate, so fragile, yes, sometimes so difficult. I can only tell you that I cannot seem to change, no, I will forever need affection and I need you to understand. I cannot lie, I am no wall of strength, my heart is easily penetrated, my core is easily shaken. I am sometimes weak, sometimes lost, sometimes, all I need is to be held and loved. I do not mean to be so outrageous in my behavior, whenever I get scared, hurt or sad. I do not mean to be so stressful, whenever I feel inferior, imperfect or just plain bad. I do not mean to sulk, I do not mean to be so dramatic, this does not mean I wish to be a victim, no, I do not crave any pity. I’m just an intense individual who is growing, learning, living and trying. I cannot shut out my feelings, no, I cannot stop myself from crying. Maybe I am just a pussy, I guess I am far from a man, I am soft, I need to be cradled, I crave your attention and sometimes, I just want to hold your hand. I desire a lot of caressing, I need lots of spontaneous kisses, I want to hear, “I love you”, maybe more than anyone else would. But, this is what makes me who I am, this is probably who I’ll always be. I am sometimes an emotional wreck, sometimes a jealous lover, yes, sometimes a defenseless mess. I am sometimes way too sensitive, sometimes too wrapped up in my own head. I am sometimes too overwhelming, yes, sometimes I try to explain myself, but end up smothering you and making a fool of myself instead. But, this is what makes me who I am, this is probably who I’ll always be. So, can you see yourself with me for good? Through the ugly and the beautiful? I am loyal, I am honest, I am loving, I am caring. I am touchy feely, I am real, I cry, I cannot hide behind a non-existent shield. I am bare, I am open, maybe I’m crazy, but I just need you to understand how I feel. I am an ocean, deep and mysterious. Sometimes I am calm, sometimes my waves crash onto shore. Sometimes I am refreshing, other times I just tend to drown you like many times before. But, this is what makes me who I am, & this is probably who I’ll always be. This is Adrian, yes, I accept that this is me.